Don’t be Afraid to Branch Out

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I used to be a hater, meaning I used to judge men for the very thing I’m about to suggest to you.

Two years ago, I was on eHarmony.com while a friend was on Match.com. One Saturday afternoon, we decided to meet for lunch to catch up, and I had good news to share.

“He’s cute, right?” I said, handing my phone to Ali, while we munched down on thick, deli sandwiches.

She wiped her hands on her napkin before grabbing my iphone, and as soon as she laid eyes on my screen, her eager, excited expression changed.

“What?” I asked. “He seems perfect. You don’t think so?”

“No…” she said slowly. “I do think he’s perfect. That’s the problem.”

I tilted my head, confused, as she handed my phone back. “What do you mean?”

“I saw him on Match,” she confessed. “I was going to tell you about him before I sent an email.”

“Oh,” I said, my heart sinking. “He’s on two sites . Who does that?”

“I know, right?” she said, taking a huge, frustrated bite out of her sandwich, sourdough crumbs flying everywhere. “It seems so unethical.”

“What should we do?” I asked, taking one last glimpse of his photo. His deep, blue eyes stared back at me.

This was one option

This was one option

We locked eyes across the table, at an impasse, while I secretly chided our mutual object of desire for joining two dating sites. If he hadn’t, Ali and I wouldn’t have been in that awkward position. But then, he was in a great position: two attractive females eager to meet him. One of whom never would have been an option for him if he had only joined one site. He had successfully double his dating pool.

At first, I thought playing the online dating field seemed less than above board (I mean, how dare he?), but the logic of his strategy soon set in and I realized he was kind of a genius. In the end, my friend and I decided against making a move, letting him choose between us, if at all. Turns out, he emailed us both a message that said, “hey.” I immediately refused to write him back, while Ali gave him the benefit of the doubt. Of course, three emails later he asked her for a sexy pic and she tossed him. So, while doubling his dating pool broadened his selection, it wasn’t able to improve his personality.

Bottom line: while the thought of joining more than one dating site might seem uncouth at first, it may be the secret to finding your perfect match. I compare it to only going to the same bar on the same side of town every Friday night. Most likely you’ll see the same people (or at least the same kind of people), with a few newbies sprinkled in here and there. But if you mix up your watering hole, you’ll broaden your horizons and your dating potential. Don’t believe me? Give it a try.

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