First dates always seem to create a stress spiral… especially when the date springs from online dating. You’ve checked out his profile a hundred times (at least) and exchanged several emails (enough to have a fantasy already formed in your mind).
His emails have a hint of charm and wit, and his photos tell of adventure, humor and passion– he could be “the one.” If only you can get through the first date…
But how can you when your heart is racing faster than a Ferrari on the Audubon and sweat is dripping from your body like a popsicle in the summer time? Are you calm, cool, collected and (maybe more importantly) attractive? Not unless pit stains and gnawed off nails are attractive.
But what do you do? You have one chance with Mr. Right and you’re on your way to getting it wrong. My advice: take a deep breath and CALM DOWN.
Here’s my thought process, which has gotten me through every first date with flying colors (and a second date).
- Despite what you think, it’s not that big of a deal. Sure, falling in love IS a big deal, but in the grand scheme of things, one bad date does not a spinster make. Plus, if he can’t handle the fact that you like mustard on your fries instead of ketchup, or that you’re competitive about mini golf, he probably isn’t Mr. Right anyway.
- The chances of every guy you go on a first date with being “the one” are crazy low, like one in a hundred. First dates are introductions to see if you have future potential. They are NOT spouse interviews that, pass or fail, decide your entire future’s happiness. You’re just going to see if you like the guy, and if you don’t, or he isn’t feeling it, move on. There will be another one.
- First impressions are important, but not if they’re false. Don’t put so much thought into how you “should” act, that you’re not being yourself. Don’t worry so much that he’s not going to like you, that you’re being someone you think he will like. Be you and see if he can hang.
- If all else fails, remember that he’s not just measuring you up, you’re measuring up him too. Go into the date thinking about the impression he’s going to have to make on YOU, not the other way around.
CONCLUSION: if you go into the date without crazy expectations, being yourself, and putting your wants and needs at the forefront, you will be more calm, confident and ultimately way more attractive. So much so, he’ll probably ask you for a second date. But if he doesn’t, don’t sweat it. You can always have another first.