As I’m sitting cross-legged on my bed, cradling my laptop and a cup of coffee, I listen to the rain pouring outside my window, thinking about fresh starts.
For me, each time I’ve turned to online dating, it was for a fresh start.
The first time was after my divorce, an unpleasant, unrequested, yet much needed time in my life. Sure, I probably should’ve spent years alone, finding out “who I was” after divorce. I should have developed a new hobby, learned a new language, got a new haircut…. okay, I did dye my hair blonde, but in my mind, that’s all the self discovery I needed. What I needed was a fresh start.
I logged in to eHarmony, wondering if a fresh start awaited me in cyber space… and it did. I met an incredible man who helped me heal and find my self worth.
We could debate for hours between “finding yourself” and starting over with someone new. There are pros and cons to each. Typically, I’d say it’s important to spend some time alone, learning to love yourself and being okay, dare I say happy, on your own. We’ve all heard that it’s important to find someone who compliments you, not completes you, and I think that’s true.
However, I can’t deny that at the time, eHarmony was the right move for me, even though it came shortly after my divorce. People told me it was too soon, but I didn’t listen, and I’m glad I was stubborn.
In the end, you need the exact kind of fresh start that you need. Deep down, you know if you need time alone to heal, or if you need a heart surgeon. Or maybe… you just need a new haircut.