…You don’t pick your nose. At least, that’s what Blaire (age 6) and Brooke (age 9) expect from their future boyfriends (thankfully, Justin Bieber didn’t make the cut!)
While reading a post by blondie1038 titled Boyfriend Rules, I realized that even as children we know what qualities our future partner should and should not possess.
The original article by the Huffington Post included a photo of a hand-drawn wish list titled LIST OF BOYFRIEND RULES, created by two wise (beyond their years) little girls, Blaire and Brooke:
Some of my favorites– last name not weird, don’t pick your nose, and brushes teeth and floss. All of which are super important, of course.
But even at six and nine, these girls already picked up on KEY qualities that should be present in every grownup relationship… some qualities that even as adults, we forgo.
RESPECT, HONESTY, INDEPENDENCE, POSITIVE ATTITUDE, MANNERS, AMBITION, CONTENTMENT, FUN, HUMOR, INTELLIGENCE, FAMILY VALUES, PRIDE IN OWNERSHIP, RESPONSIBLITY, HEALTH, CLEANLINESS, ATTRACTION, PRIDE IN SELF, COMMUNICATION, MORALS
All of these qualities should be fundamental in each of our relationships, yet how often do we settle for less?
Online dating, in general, allows us more freedom to be “picky.” The nature of the system requires us to not only think about what we want, but to tell our potential dates what we are looking for.
Of course, this does not justify unrealistic expectations. No one is perfect. So PLEASE don’t post an overwhelmingly long list of demands on your dating profile. But DO create a reasonable wish list with attributes that are important to you and the health and success of a future relationship. Then keep it to yourself… somewhere close-by so you can glance at it whenever you’re tempted to settle.
What IS okay to post on your profile? It’s acceptable to mention reasonable desires like, someone warm and caring, adventurous, ambitious, or even a verbal sparing partner who can argue with you about politics.
But do NOT ask for things like, sexier than Ryan Gosling in The Notebook, will cook five star meals AND do the dishes afterwards, will ALWAYS go swimming with a white T-shirt then emerge slowly from the water ala Colin Firth in Pride and Prejudice.
Some wishes are fantasies that should remain as such, and others are necessary qualities you can’t live without. Figure out which is which, then leave the fantasies in your diary and use the rest to find your match… remembering to never settle.
Hey, if a six and nine-year-old can create a BOYFRIEND LIST, you can too. And let’s be honest– shouldn’t “doesn’t tattle tale” be on everyone’s list?