Online Dating: Know the Rules (And the Secrets)

Has that much changed?

Has that much changed?

Ready for a cliché? (Online) dating is a game– so know the rules! That is, if you want to maximize your success. What do I mean by “know the rules?” Well, there are certain strategies that will help you get ahead- the trick is knowing your site, and their little secrets.

  • Have you noticed your profile activity is dwindling? You’ve been on the site for a month or two now, and your profile is viewed less and less often. Chances are, you’re now at the bottom of the search pile. But don’t worry; it’s an easy fix. Add a new photo! Most websites (Match included) will send you to the top of the search if you upload a new photo. The same goes for updating your profile information, but a photo is more of an attention grabber.
  • Sunday is one of the highest trafficking days for online dating, so don’t miss out! Update your profile a little before, then log on so members can see you’re active, maybe even chat!
  • Change up your search criteria. Do you feel like the site keeps showing you the same faces over and over? Your search criteria may be too narrow. Try altering a few details (add or subtract and inch from height, add a few miles to the search radius, subtract a few dollars from income desired) and see what happens. Some sites even allow you to save different search settings so you can alternate searches and mix things up. *If you’re on an algorithm-based site, it’s best to start narrow (so you’re not bombarded with non-matches), then update your info once a month.
  • Make sure you log in at least once a week, even if you don’t have time to search or check your inbox. Many sites allow users to search based on whether or not members have logged in recently. You don’t want to be filtered out because you’ve had a busy week.
  • Dismiss some gender based traditions, such as waiting for the guy to make the first move. Some sites allow women to have an “upgraded” membership for free, while men have to pay for features such as sending an introductory email. You could be waiting on him, while he’s waiting on you. I know it goes against the “norms,” and even your comfort level, but it’s not always wise to wait on the guys.

In the end, online dating is similar to “real” dating– you get what you put in. If you don’t fill out your profile, expect a low response rate, etc. Of course, that doesn’t mean to have to go over-board to “beat the system,” either. But if you know the ins and outs, you can better determine how much time and effort you want to invest. Know you, know your site, then get to know the other members. And have fun. 🙂